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Seeds of Evilfrom the Fire and Shadows series
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| Tatsumi buttoned the cuffs of his immaculate white shirt, and smiled fondly at the inert body bundled untidily in his bed. Invisible except for a splash of golden hair across the dark blue pillow, Watari seemed determined to sleep in. It had been a long time since Watari had spent the night at Tatsumi's apartment, and it would probably be a long time before he did so again. Which suited both of them. They had always been friends first, lovers second. Intimacy to suit their needs. But last night had been dark, very dark, and Tatsumi had taken gratefully to Watari's arms, surrendered to comfort. Watari understood, and Tatsumi loved his friend dearly for it. He found 003 in the kitchen, perched hopefully on top of the refrigerator. She fluffed herself up excitedly as Tatsumi approached. "Soup?" she said in her odd little almost-cooing voice. "Riceballs?" "I think that can be arranged," Tatsumi assured her. "And perhaps a small mouse?" "Hmm. I'm afraid not, my little friend. Some fish, perhaps?" 003 ruffled her feathers huffily, and preened one wing before deigning to reply. "Alright. Fish will do. If you're sure you don't have any mouses." Tatsumi took the liberty of scratching her chest for a moment before setting about preparing breakfast. He filled the kettle, got cups and bowls and a pan from the cupboard. The owl watched him as he worked, making little crooning noises in anticipation. The kettle had just boiled when a bleary but smiling Watari appeared in the doorway. 003 flew to him with a pleased squawk, and settled on his shoulder. "Breakfast?" said Tatsumi. "Thank you." "He has no mouses," grumbled 003. "Just as well," said Watari. "We wouldn't want you getting fat." 003 shrieked in outrage, and nipped his ear. "I'm teasing!" Watari protested. But 003 popped down onto the table and resolutely turned her back on him. Tatsumi passed Watari a cup of hot tea. "Please sit," he said, with a warm smile. "Breakfast will be just a moment." "Thank you." Watari took a sip of his tea, watching Tatsumi thoughtfully as he returned his attention to the pan of soup. "You look better." "I'm glad yesterday is over." "Of course. Was Tsuzuki alright?" "Yes. Very well, considering. Hisoka is very good for him." "In some ways. They make good partners." Tatsumi flashed him a look, but Watari carefully avoided it. "I hope the modelling program I left running last night has come up with something," Watari said. "It got very close last night. Too close for comfort." "Hn." Tatsumi recalled the sudden wash of darkness and shuddered. "If only we knew what we're up against..." "We'll find out. Meanwhile it's work as normal, I suppose?" "Yes." The soup was ready. Tatsumi set two bowls on the counter and was about to reach for the ladle when he felt... something. Shifting shadows, a cloud of ravens... "Seiichirou?" Blue kitchen tile and crisp white china came sharply into focus. Tatsumi blinked, shook his head. "Are you alright?" Watari was half-rising from his seat, concerned. Even 003 came out of her sulk and flew over to rest on his head, surveying his face comically from different angles. And black. "I'm fine, I... Watari, please call off your owl." 003 huffed and popped down onto the counter, claws skidding for purchase on the smooth marble surface. And black. "Sorry," Tatsumi said. "I don't know what came over me." "It's okay." Watari was next to him, a steady arm around his shoulders. "Here, let me. Come and sit down." Tatsumi blinked in confusion, for some reason letting Watari steer him towards the table. He sat down with a thump. "What... did you feel it? Something? I..." And black. "No," said Watari, softly. "Nothing. Here." A cup of tea appeared in front of Tatsumi's tightly clasped hands on the table. "Drink this." Fear jolted his mind keen awake; he could feel the shadows stirring, knew he had to control them. He took a deep breath, dimly aware of Watari's hand on his, stroking, soothing. A sob caught somewhere deep in his chest. And it passed. Like waking in the sunshine, the shadows had settled. The world came back to focus. Watari was sitting next to him, one arm around his shoulders, the other curled gently over his hand. There was tea spilt on the table, an upturned cup. Tatsumi frowned at the mess, then at Watari. "What happened?" "You were out of it for a minute, that's all. Can I get you anything? Water, more tea?" "Tea would be nice. Please." Tatsumi forced deep, slow breaths through his lungs. "That was... I need to report to Konoe, I should go now..." He rose from his seat, but Watari pushed him firmly back. He mopped up the mess as Tatsumi watched, still a little confused, and placed another cup and saucer in front of him. "Drink your tea, Seiichirou. Think for a moment. It's still early, Konoe won't even be in the office yet." "I... oh. Yes, of course, you're right. I..." "Was it like last night?" Tatsumi took a grateful sip of tea. Nodded. "Worse. I've never known anything like it. I thought for a moment...." He shuddered. "Come to the lab, as soon as you've seen the boss. Let me run a few tests. It might not just be you, there might be others who've picked up something, maybe in a different way, or-" "Tsuzuki. He said, last night... He felt it." Tatsumi rose again, and once more Watari pushed him back to his seat, this time putting soup and riceballs in front of him. "Later. If Tsuzuki felt this too we'll know soon enough. You're white as a sheet." 003 shuffled up and cocked her head to regard Tatsumi thoroughly. "Not healthy," she remarked. "I could catch you a mouse?" Tatsumi managed a smile. "Thank you, but no. I don't think the consumption of small rodents will help in this case, my friend." 003 ruffled her wings in the closest approximation to a shrug that owls could manage. Tatsumi picked up his spoon and began methodically to eat his soup. Not tasting it, much, but it started to warm him, restore the energy that controlling the shadows had leeched out of him. "Yutaka..." "Yes?" "There's no need to mention this to Tsuzuki, is there? I mean... it's a vulnerable time for him, too. I don't want him to worry unnecessarily." Watari looked doubtful. "It's nothing I can't handle. It's him we should be worrying about, with how he is..." "He won't thank you for it. He cares for you, Seiichirou." "That doesn't matter." Watari opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. "Besides," said Tatsumi. "He has Hisoka to care for him now." Their eyes met for a moment of silent argument. Watari was the first to look away. "Yutaka..." "All right, all right, I won't tell him. But I still think..." "You don't understand," said Tatsumi under his breath, no more than a murmur. But Watari seemed to hear him all the same. "No, I don't," he said, sadly, and briefly clasped Tatsumi's hand. "Finish your soup, my friend. You need to get your strength back." On that point Tatsumi couldn't argue, and he continued with his breakfast under Watari's watchful eye. ******* "I don't get it. We're no closer to solving this than we were a week ago." Tsuzuki chucked his pencil down on the table in frustration, and flung himself back in his chair. Hisoka stood staring out of the window of their room in the hostel, watching people walking past outside. Back and forth, back and forth, it was almost hypnotic. "She must have a dealer," he said. Not for the first time. "I know, but where? How can we hope to find him? She has no friends, no-one recognises the photo. It's as if she doesn't exist." "I expect that's the way she'd like to keep it." Hisoka ran a finger along the window frame. It was faintly damp; the day was already warm and humid. His mind always fogged in the heat. "She went to school here…" Tsuzuki jabbed at the map in front of him with his index finger. "Lived here. Until her family were killed and then she lived here… and here… came to Nagasaki and… poof. Gone. It doesn't make sense." "Of course it does," said Hisoka. "People go missing all the time." "But-" "Not from us, yes, I know." Hisoka turned away from the window and folded his arms, irritably shaking the hair out of his eyes. It was the heat, he told himself. He really hated the heat. Tsuzuki gave him a sympathetic smile. "We should get out of here. Go for a walk. What d'you say? A few shady trees and a cold drink?" Hisoka could think of nothing he'd like better. He shrugged. "If you want." Tsuzuki shoved his wallet in his back pocket, and was standing at the door before Hisoka had moved a muscle. "Come on, then, if you're coming." Hisoka followed him out onto the dusty street. The mid-morning sun was bright after the gloom of the hostel. Tsuzuki felt for his sunglasses but they were, perversely, in the pocket of his raincoat. No matter. Tsuzuki could already feel his own mind clearing as he relaxed a little in the warm summer breeze, but Hisoka seemed more agitated than ever. "Are you alright?" "Fine," Hisoka snapped, plunging his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and scowling at the pavement. Tsuzuki knew better than to push it. "A bit of rain would help clear things up," he said mildly. "Clear what up?" "Oh, you know. Just things." Tsuzuki shrugged. "It's oppressive. Hard to think." Hisoka didn't say anything. Tsuzuki focused his attention on the road ahead of him, thoughts settling quietly in his mind. If he was a fifteen year old run-away looking for somewhere to hide, where would he go? A hostel? Homeless shelter? No. If she was hiding, if she really didn't want to be found, she'd be deeper than that. Beyond the world of petty crime and poverty, into an altogether more dangerous place. Tsuzuki felt a pang of anxiety at the thought of a young girl, vulnerable through addiction, falling deeper and deeper into the wretched underworld of crime and- "Oh!" Tsuzuki's attention jolted back to Hisoka just in time to catch him as he fell. He sank to his knees, cradling Hisoka's head protectively in his lap as they collapsed onto the pavement. "Hisoka! What's wrong?" "Evil," Hisoka murmured, tears pooling in his huge green eyes. "Dark, I can't... I..." Something that looked like pain wracked through his body and he went limp. Tsuzuki held on tighter, shook his shoulders. "Hisoka!" He was out cold. ******* Tsuzuki ran at full speed down the corridor and burst through the swing doors to find himself face to face with a very startled nurse. Funny, how carrying Hisoka didn't slow him down at all. The kid weighed next to nothing. He was barely breathing. "Get Watari, now," Tsuzuki barked. "I believe Watari-sensei is off duty at the present time, I could summon-" "No. Watari. It's Hisoka. Don't fucking argue with me, just get him." She gave a quiescent nod and turned straight to the phone. Tsuzuki heard her in the background as he lay Hisoka gently on the nearest bed. Watari appeared in a second. "What happened?" Tsuzuki backed off to let Watari examine Hisoka, watching anxiously as deft fingers felt for pulse and heartbeat. "He passed out, just a minute ago. We were walking down the street and bam! Just like that... what's wrong with him?" "Did he say anything? Complain of feeling ill, or feeling anything unusual?" "No... he was cranky. Crankier than usual. And he feels the heat, but... Watari, what's-" "I don't know. And I can't find out with you pestering me for answers." Watari's tone was kind but firm nonetheless. "Sorry. It's just it was such a shock and he looks so..." Tsuzuki peered anxiously over Watari's shoulder. "Have you checked his breathing? I thought it sounded a bit..." "Do you want me to ask you to wait outside?" Watari's eyes flashed at him. "No!" "Then get out of my way and let me get on with it. Please." "Sorry." Tsuzuki stepped back, shoved his hands through his hair. "It's just… he's never done anything like this before." "I know," said Watari, his expression softening to a kind smile. "Try not to worry, Tsuzuki." Just then Tsuzuki became aware of a pattering of rapid footsteps in the corridor outside; the door swung open and Tatsumi stood there. "What's the matter?" He seemed breathless, perhaps even ruffled, his voice tight with anxiety. "Tsuzuki, are you alright?" Tsuzuki blinked in the glare of Tatsumi's concern. "I'm fine. It's Hisoka. He collapsed." "Hisoka?" "He'll be alright, I think," said Watari. I can't find anything in particular wrong. I'd know better if I could give him a proper examination. Why don't you take Tsuzuki and get some coffee or something? I'll let you know as soon as there's news, I promise." "Is it…?" A look passed between Watari and Tatsumi, a notion, a secret. Watari gave the slightest nod. Tsuzuki frowned. "Is it what?" he snapped. "What? "It's probably just heat-stroke," Watari said. "Did he say anything before he collapsed?" Tatsumi asked. "Was he feeling ill, or… anything?" "No, like I just told Watari, he was cranky, not coping well with the heat but… why? There's something you're not telling me." Another exchange of looks, then Watari gave Tatsumi a nod and started busying himself with instruments, hooking Hisoka up to a monitor. "Very well," said Tatsumi, with more than a trace of reluctance. "Let's go to the canteen and I'll explain." ******* Tsuzuki stared at the buttered teabread in front of him as if it were a live snake. "Not hungry?" Tatsumi asked. "Did you have breakfast?" "I didn't come here to eat. What's going on?" Tatsumi hesitated. "Hisoka's my partner. If there's something wrong with him..." "No, it's not like that, it's... tell me, what time was it when Hisoka collapsed?" Tsuzuki glanced at his watch. "Nearly an hour ago. Why?" "And you're feeling alright yourself?" "No, I'm out of my mind with worry." "I mean in yourself. You don't have any signs of... you're not ill or anything?" "No... Tatsumi, please, what's going on? You know something." "I know a great many things." Tatsumi slid his glasses up his nose with one long, elegant finger. "Including some rudimentary medicine. It's not unreasonable to make sure that whatever's wrong with Hisoka doesn't have an ordinary medical cause. You didn't take him drinking, did you?" "At ten in the morning?" "And... you're alright?" "I'm fine." As calm as Tatsumi appeared, there was a faint cast of unease in his vivid blue eyes that gave away disquiet. "He said something about evil, I think." "Did he feel the disturbance last night?" "He was asleep. He didn't say anything this morning." "Ah." "You think it's something to do with the surges?" "It could be. With Hisoka's powers..." "But nothing's happened? No war, no accidents...?" "Nothing yet. But the surges are growing exponentially, all over the world. So much darkness..." Tatsumi tailed off, staring at the table top, apparently fascinated by its intricate design. Tsuzuki gave his arm a gentle squeeze, concerned. "Tatsumi?" "What? Oh. I'm sorry, Tsuzuki. I must have..." he shook his head, fine strands of dark brown hair settling neatly back into place in a way Tsuzuki's hair never did. It was one of the things he found fascinating about Tatsumi: he was always immaculate. No matter how many fights he'd been in, or how late he worked, everything about him was always neat and tidy. Tsuzuki couldn't help but wonder how he managed it. Perhaps it was something to do with the shadows. "Are you alright?" "Hmm? Oh, yes, I'm fine. Trying to think things through. Thought I'd just caught an idea then, but... no matter. We must all be on our guard. These are difficult times." "I was thinking, it might be better if Hisoka stayed here. Just in case." "I agree. Watari's working hard to find out what all this means, and he can keep a close eye on Hisoka in case it happens again." "But the surges can't be felt in Meifu, can they? Only in the living world." "Things change," said Tatsumi, not quite meeting Tsuzuki's eye. "Then..." "That's not important, however. It's the risk of disaster that worries me the most. With Hisoka's empathy, if he went through even a fraction of what we went through sixty years ago..." And then their eyes met. Just for a second. A fleeting instant. Long enough for Tsuzuki to remember it all: the misery, the anguish, the deep dark feelings that weren't his, and the warm comfort of Tatsumi's body. They both looked away. "You're right," said Tsuzuki in a rough, raw voice. "He couldn't take it." ******* "Hisoka?" Green eyes slid open. Blinked. Squinted at Watari in confusion. "Hey, Kid. How are you feeling?" Hisoka shifted his shoulders experimentally, and winced. "Head hurts... no, wait, all of me hurts. What the fuck happened?" "I was hoping you'd be able to shed some light on that." Watari ran an expert eye over the monitor output. Everything seemed to be back to normal. "How long was I out? Tsuzuki! Is Tsuzuki-" "Tsuzuki's fine. Tatsumi's trying to distract him from worrying himself sick over you." "Hn." The tiniest of smiles twitched at the corner of Hisoka's mouth. "You were unconscious for a couple of hours. Do you remember what happened?" The fear that flashed across Hisoka's face spoke volumes. "Yes, it was... overload. Emotions, fear, misery, pain..." "From people nearby?" Hisoka shook his head. "It was like... it was as if it was in the air. Like wind, or, no, like a wave. It wasn't specific, no thoughts or memories, just... darkness." Tears pooled in his eyes. Watari filled a glass of water and handed it to him, wanting more than anything to scoop the boy up in his arms and hug him, but knowing he'd hate it. Not for the first time, Watari wondered at the unlikely pairing Tsuzuki and Hisoka made. For an empath Tsuzuki's whirlwind of emotions must be nothing short of exhausting. Then again, perhaps Hisoka was the only one who stood a chance of really understanding him. "It hurt," Hisoka said. "A lot." "Your experience co-incided with a surge of negative energy. They're not uncommon, but lately..." "They've been getting worse. Yes, Tsuzuki said." Hisoka sipped gratefully at the water, and colour started to return to his cheeks. "It might be best for you to stay here for a while." "Why? Doesn't it reach Meifu?" Teacup crashing to table; Tatsumi's hands clenched 'til the knuckles went white, shadows looming at the corner of the room. "Tsuzuki takes this kind of thing badly. If you're with him…" "There's still a case to solve." "The case will wait. Or they can assign someone else. Don't worry about that." "I'm so weak," Hisoka murmured. "How the fuck will Tsuzuki ever respect me when…" "Kid? You're making no sense." Watari lay a gentle hand on Hisoka's forehead, checking for fever, or maybe just to soothe. "He was telling me yesterday, about the bombing of Hiroshima. About how he stayed to help until he was forced away… I'm not sure I could do that, Watari. In fact I know I couldn't. All that pain, I couldn't…" "Shhh." Watari swiftly brushed away falling tears and gave Hisoka a swift hug. The boy responded stiffly, as ever, but the big eyes that looked up at Watari seemed grateful. Sort of. "I wasn't around then. But I do know Tsuzuki, and I know you. What's brave for one person isn't the same as what's brave for another, Kid. I've seen you be very brave indeed. That doesn't mean you have to do anything foolish, okay?" Hisoka scrubbed away a fresh fall of tears with his fists. "Tired," he said. "Can I sleep?" "Of course," said Watari. He rose from the bed, was about to give his patient one final check and leave when Hisoka spoke. "Everyone always abandons him." Quiet as a mouse. "It's not always as… straightforward as that." "Tatsumi left him." "Their partnership ended, that's all. Things don't always work out." "No, I don't mean that. I mean there, at Nagasaki, he left him. How could he do that? Just leave him with all that pain and suffering… I can't do that. Won't." "There were reasons. It's between the two of them. I think Tsuzuki understands, like he'll understand why you can't go back until we know what's happening." "He doesn't understand. He never understands. He just accepts it. He thinks he deserves it." That struck more truth than Watari could deny. Hisoka was sitting up, tugging off monitors and trying to fight his way out of hospital-tucked sheets. "No," said Watari. "Hisoka, I'll take both of you out of there if necessary." "I won't leave him," said Hisoka, fiercely. "What if something happens, something big like Nagasaki? I won't abandon him to-" Watari took Hisoka's bone-thin arms in his hands and firmly pushed him back onto the bed. The futile struggle had rendered the boy flushed and panting; judging by the wince that scrunched his eyes closed for a second he had a killer headache too. "It's normal to worry about him. Hisoka… sometimes when we have deep, somemightsay romantic feelings for someone… " "It's not like that," Hisoka murmured. "But…" "We're partners. Friends. I care for him, I owe him everything. But I'm still getting used to the idea of… Watari, I've got a long way to go, only a year ago I didn't even know what it was like to care at all, and still… no. I'm not in love with Tsuzuki." "I think perhaps you're the first partner he's ever had who isn't, then. Maybe that's why it works so well." Hisoka managed something like a smile. "Not just me. There was Tatsumi too." Watari hesitated. Reluctant to break a confidence, but equally reluctant to let Hisoka persist in the conviction that Tatsumi didn't care. 003 chose that moment to fluff out her feathers and pop from her perch on top of the monitor to come and sit on Hisoka's chest. She peered at him critically for a moment, turning her head this way and that, bobbing up and down. Hisoka let out a muffled bark of laughter and gently scooted the owl away, tension broken, and then- "I'll never forgive him for leaving Tsuzuki like that. That's all." "Hisoka, that's enough. Tatsumi cares a good deal for Tsuzuki. More than you know." "He's quite obsessed," 003 supplied. "Hush," hissed Watari. "He talks about him all the time," said 003, and then set about preening feathers as if there was nothing more to say. "As I was saying," Watari spared a glare for the little owl, which 003 studiously ignored. "He cares a good deal for Tsuzuki. Probably more than is good for him." Hisoka frowned. "You mean Tatsumi's in love with him?" "I truly believe he was, back then. But now... how long can you keep unrequited love alive?" said Watari. "It's been half a century or more, I don't know if it's that sort of love any more, but it certainly was once." "Not unrequited," said Hisoka, softly. "What?" "It's not unrequited. Tsuzuki feels something for him too. I sense it, all the time. Can't help it..." A blush bloomed on Hisoka's cheeks, and Watari wondered just how much the kid had sensed. Then it sank in. "You mean they're in love with each other and don't even know it?" "I'm not sure. Tsuzuki's very good at hiding things, even from himself, and Tatsumi hurt him so badly..." "How?" "By leaving him. You know they..." Hisoka gave a sort of meaningful shrug and his blush deepened. "Did they?" "Yes. The same night Tatsumi left. He… did that to him and then he left." "Oh. No, um." Tatsumi had never mentioned that, had never mentioned anything specific, had never mentioned anything at all until Watari had asked. "I don't suppose you could have got it wrong, or, um..." Hisoka just glared at him. "Right. Oh. Well. Wow." They were silent for a moment, Watari staring at the bedspread, Hisoka at the water glass. "To think," said Watari, eventually. "All this time…" "Yeah. Well, Tatsumi obviously didn't think of that when he used Tsuzuki and cast him aside without another thought." "Hisoka…" "If it's sad, it's Tatsumi's fault." "I can't believe that, Kid." "I know about betrayal." "And you know Tatsumi. Do you really think he'd do something like that just for the Hell of it?" "I didn't 'til yesterday." "You know, it strikes me that telepathy is a bit like eavesdropping." Watari watched Hisoka carefully, noted the hostile set of his shoulders, the disbelief on his face. "You can find out just enough to be dangerous, but never enough to truly understand." "I know what happened," said Hisoka stubbornly. "That's enough. Now, if you don't mind, I really am feeling tired." With that he pointedly turned away, tugging the blankets up around his ears and dislodging 003 in the process. With a deep sigh and an offended owl on his shoulder, Watari returned to his lab and left Hisoka alone. ******* Tsuzuki sat on his desk, nibbling forlornly at a brownie that Wakaba had left there for him. Hisoka was alright, at least. But Watari still seemed to have no clue as to what the problem had been, and Tatsumi had been in Konoe's office for about an hour. He wasn't altogether surprised when Gushoshin turned up. "Hello," he said. "Let me guess, you're here to help out with the assignment, right?" "Hisoka has been relieved of his duties for the time being. I will assist you in the meanwhile." "And not for the first time." Tsuzuki sighed, and dragged his fingers through his hair. It fell straight back in his eyes. "Alright, then. We'd better get going. We're not going to find her sitting around here." "You have a plan, then, Tsuzuki-san?" If a chicken could look hopeful, that's exactly what Gushoshin was doing at that moment. "It might be a bit optimistic to call it a plan, exactly," he confessed. "I'd say it was more of a lead. Although, no, not really that either... more of a...." Gushoshin waited expectantly. "A wild stab in the dark?" Tsuzuki suggested. ******* Watari stared yet again at the data on the computer screen. It was, not unsurprisingly, exactly the same as the last time he'd looked. He swore in frustration, and then got back to work. It didn't make any sense. There was something, his instruments picked up a wave of negative energy, but there was no source. He couldn't find where it was all coming from. There were no patterns, no logical routes by which it travelled, it just welled up out of nowhere in various spots, for no apparent reason. There had to be an explanation. Every occurrence, every event had a cause. He just had to find it. "So let's say for the sake of argument you're right." Watari started at the sound of Hisoka's voice. "Let's say Tatsumi isn't a bastard, or at least, isn't a bastard on purpose. What then?" "You should be in bed," Watari chided. "I'm okay. Answer my question." "Well, it depends. It's not really any of our business, after all." "It's my business. Tsuzuki's happiness is my business." Hisoka's mouth twisted into an ironic little smile. "Tatsumi's always made that perfectly clear." "That's how you can tell he isn't a bastard," Watari said softly. "He's not passing the buck, Kid. He's making a sacrifice." "And you think we should stop him?" "I think perhaps it's time we encouraged them to be honest with each other, don't you?" Hisoka paused, just for a minute, before he nodded his head in mute agreement. "Maybe once all this is over we could talk to them," Watari suggested. "Get them to see sense." "Perhaps." Hisoka pulled himself up onto a stool next to Watari's, and scratched 003's chest. The little owl puffed herself up and practically purred at the attention, her eyes squinched shut in pure pleasure. "Doesn't this bother you at all? I thought you and Tatsumi were... you know. Seeing each other." "We're just friends." Hisoka raised an eyebrow. "It's fine." And Watari meant it, mostly. Not that he didn't care for Tatsumi, of course he did. Not that the sex wasn't great, because it was. Not that he wouldn't miss the warmth of Tatsumi's body next to his when things got a little too lonely or a little too dark. But Tatsumi had never been his, exactly. He'd always known that. "They won't listen," Hisoka said. "They're too stubborn. Both of them." "That's true. What, then?" "Is Tsuzuki being reassigned? Without me?" "Gushoshin's with him at the moment, he's back on that case you were working on. Why?" "He needs a partner, a proper partner, someone who could take care of him if these surges or whatever they are get worse. If Tatsumi were to partner him... well, he could put right what he got wrong sixty years ago." Typical of Hisoka. Not so much matchmaking as a test. Still, it might work. "They won't say anything to each other, though. They've been on missions together before and nothing's happened. They've kept this secret from each other all this time..." Hisoka frowned. "I don't know then. I'm crap at this kind of thing." 003 butted Hisoka's hand, not terribly pleased that he'd stopped tickling her. "There is that truth potion you were working on," she said. "Truth potion?" Hisoka raised an eyebrow. "You can continue grooming my feathers if you wish." She butted Hisoka's hand again, and he absentmindedly resumed his attentions as Watari explained. "It's only an experiment. I thought it might be useful for missions and so forth. I'm not even sure it works..." "How could we get them to take it?" "Hold on, Kid, like I said, I don't know if..." "We can try," said Hisoka, a gleam in his huge green eyes. "After all, let's face it, Watari. What else have we got?" Watari had to admit, he had a point. He took a clean test tube from the shelf and got to work. ******* Tsuzuki returned to Meifu with a data-laden laptop and very sore feet. It's alright for chickens, he thought as he trudged along the corridor towards Watari's lab. They get carried everywhere. Watari was huddled over his computer, concentrating hard on something, and didn't look up at first. When Tsuzuki cleared his throat, anxious not to alarm him, he started and looked almost guilty, scrambling in a flurry to close down whatever had been on the screen. Must have been looking at porn, Tsuzuki concluded, suppressing a grin. Even 003 looked sheepish. Owl porn? Tsuzuki shook his head. Not a place he wanted to go. "I've got some data for you." "Great! Thanks! Um... Sorry. I was engrossed in something." Watari gave a guilty little laugh and started clearing papers off the bench to make room for Tsuzuki's laptop. "Good day?" "Not really. I think we pounded every pavement in Tokyo taking readings." "Gushoshin can be very thorough." Watari gave him a sympathetic smile, clicking keys to connect the computers together and start downloading the new information. "It was my own fault," said Tsuzuki ruefully. "I had this idiotic idea that the girl might be involved with this gang who've been getting drugs from pharmacies using fraudulent prescriptions. We must have been to every single chemist in the city, every last one, and not a single clue." He sighed. "At least Gushoshin was able to run these experiments while we were... what's wrong?" Watari was staring intently at the screen, which bore a detailed map of Hiroshima overlaid with blotches of colour and patterns. He clicked on a single street to magnify. "Look at this," he murmured. "It's very pretty," said Tsuzuki. "No, no, look at the street name. That's where you're staying at the hostel, right?" "Yeah?" "And this-" Watari wiggled the cursor over a particularly dense spot of dark green on the screen, "-this is where Hisoka collapsed, right?" "Yes! Hey, what's the green mean? Hotspot?" "Yes, or, more specifically, a surge spot. That's what all of these are." Watari flicked back to the main screen which was, Tsuzuki could now see, peppered with splotches of green, some darker than others. "This force, whatever it is, isn't coming down in one big wave. It's localised. That's the picture from when you first arrived with Gushoshin. Now, look. This is the picture from an hour ago, when you left." "It's gone!" "Yes. And that would mean...." Watari started scribbling notes frantically on a pad next to the computer. "It's not at all how I thought!" he proclaimed. "It's like... like geysers. The energy accumulates in particular places and when it reaches some kind of critical mass, poof! It flares. It must be doing that in specific places all over Japan, or the world, even. All this time we didn't notice... perhaps the places change, maybe with the rotation of the earth or some kind of thermal interchange..." "That's very exciting," said Tsuzuki, with a fond squeeze to Watari's shoulder. "But it's not finding me a girl, is it?" "No," Watari admitted. A wicked grin appeared on his face. "Then again, since when have you been interested in girls?" Tsuzuki blushed helplessly. "Shut up. You know what I mean." "Of course," said Watari. "Okay, let's see what the data can tell us about missing drug-addicts, shall we?" "Please," said Tsuzuki, and slid onto a stool next to Watari to watch as he worked. "Have you seen Hisoka, by the way?" Watari shrugged. "Not for a while." "How is he? They said he'd left the Infirmary." "He's fine. I'll have to insist he stays here in Meifu, though, just to be on the safe side. At least until we can work out what it is about that surge spot that affected him so badly." Tsuzuki nodded grimly. "It terrified the life out of me, when he went down like that. If anything happened to him... he means so much to me, Yutaka. I can't imagine..." Watari waggled his eyebrows. "Really?" "Quit with the innuendo, you pervert. It's not like that with me and Hisoka. He's too young, and anyway." "Anyway?" Tsuzuki shrugged. "Not my type, I guess." Watari turned to 003 then, and Tsuzuki couldn't quite see his face, but... He could have sworn he'd winked. ******* "Let me get this straight." Konoe leaned back in his chair, regarding Hisoka through narrowed eyes. "You want me to send Tatsumi to partner Tsuzuki until you're able to resume service?" "Yes Sir." "And since when, Kurosaki-san, did you tell me what to do?" "It's a request, Sir. I... I feel he'd be safe with Tatsumi." "Oh, you do, do you?" "Yes, Sir." "Safe from what, exactly?" "There's something bad out there. Something dark and cold. Considering what it did to me, and how vulnerable Tsuzuki is to these things..." "Ah." Konoe got up and walked to the window; twitched the blind aside to gaze out on drifts of cherry blossom. "You're worried he'll succumb." "He does have a history. Tatsumi understands that side of him, I'm not sure anyone else does. I worry for him. I mean, you know this. That's why you partnered me with him in the first place, isn't it?" "And you think Tatsumi can cope? Did it ever occur to you to wonder why their partnership broke up, Kurosaki-kun?" Hisoka turned his stare sullenly to the floor. Konoe sighed. "It's not that simple, I'm afraid. There's always other things to consider when it comes to Tsuzuki." "Exactly," said Hisoka. "Look... I know Tsuzuki better than anyone. Make whatever decision you have to. But I know this is right for him. I just... know it." Konoe looked at Hisoka for a minute longer than Hisoka was truly comfortable with. "Alright," he said, eventually. "Just this one time." Excitement and doubt and hope welled up in Hisoka's chest all at once; he couldn't stop a smile from curving his lips. "Thank you, Sir," he said. "And, one more thing. This conversation-" "Stays between these four walls," said Konoe. He watched Hisoka thoughtfully as he left the room. Always other things to consider. ******* "That's where she was last sighted," Tsuzuki pointed at the map with the end of his pencil. "We've searched everywhere, the clubs, hostels, dodgy alleys, everywhere. She's simply disappeared." "There is another option you haven't considered," said Tatsumi. "What? You think she's skipped town?" "No, but perhaps she hasn't disappeared of her own free will. What if she's being held captive?" Tsuzuki blinked at him. "Read this." Tatsumi passed Tsuzuki a newspaper clipping. "It's a couple of weeks old but I think it might be important." Tsuzuki scanned the article rapidly, hungry for some kind of lead. The sooner they found the girl and left, the better. "A cult?" "A particularly nasty bunch of demon-worshippers. The police intervened in that case, but what if there were others? There's similarities: the girls were runaways, there were drugs involved..." "It doesn't say what happened to the girls. Are they still alive?" Tatsumi's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure. I'll get Gushoshin to run them through the system." "I'll get back on the streets. See if I can find out any more about this cult." Tatsumi nodded and reached for the laptop, while Tsuzuki shrugged his coat on and headed for the door. "Tsuzuki..." Tatsumi said as his fingers closed on the handle. "Yes?" Tatsumi smiled, a warm smile that reached his eyes and bred a quiver in Tsuzuki's belly. "Be careful." "You too," Tsuzuki said. ******* Watari clicked rapidly at his keyboard, scanning the lists that scrolled down the screen in response. "No. None of them died, and none of them were supposed to die. No anomalies at all. Why? Who are they?" "Tatsumi said it was to do with some cult. He thinks it's related to the case." Hisoka peered over Watari's shoulder. "Ritual sacrifice?" "Something like that. Hey, back up a bit." Watari obediently scrolled back a page. "What? See something?" "That newspaper article, those addresses. One of them is very close to the hostel, where I, you know, passed out." Watari frowned. "That's more of a co-incidence than I'm comfortable with." Hisoka shrugged. "It wasn't anything human I felt. It was just... power. Pure power." "I think we should report this to Tatsumi straight away. Can you get that data to him?" "Yes, of course." Hisoka snagged the printout from the printer and headed for the door. "Did he, um, sound okay?" "Tatsumi? Yes, well, same as usual. I guess they haven't got around to drinking the sake you sent yet. I told you cookies would have worked better. On Tsuzuki at least." "What? Oh, that, yeah. Of course." Watari frowned, distracted as he switched windows with a brush of his thumb and forefinger over the keyboard and brought up the map he'd been working on earlier. "Well, we'll see. Hmmm." The door clicked behind Hisoka as he left. Watari shoved aside his own worries, the vague ache of guilt he felt at encouraging Tatsumi to partner Tsuzuki after that episode this morning. He'd been monitoring the surges ever since they'd left, ready to go to the rescue at the slightest.... Hang on a minute. Watari leaned back in his chair and tapped the screen. "Fuck me sideways! Would you look at that?" 003 leaned forward and peered at the screen. "Well," she said. "How interesting." ******* Tsuzuki half-ran back to the hostel, so excited was he to have a breakthrough at last. He burst into the room and for a second, just a second, thought he saw something else in Tatsumi's expression, before he carefully re-arranged his features into an expectant smile. He might have imagined it. But for a moment, Tatsumi had looked worried. Pensive. "Are you okay?" "Yes," Tatsumi said. "I have some very interesting information from Meifu. What about you?" "I went and had a talk with the police officers who made that raid. They recognised Kaiya. She was there that night but she ran away before they could talk to her, hasn't been seen since." "But she was a victim?" "They think so. There were about twenty girls there when they raided the place, but none of them have been able to tell them much. Just that they were all kidnapped over the past few weeks and that they thought they were in some sort of holding place. Girls came and went, taken off to help in rituals of some kind. Some of them thought Kaiya was different, special in some way. That's all they could tell me. Oh, except, there was a place they heard they heard their captors talk about. You'll never guess where-" Tatsumi passed him a computer printout, one section clearly highlighted. "It wouldn't happen to be here, would it?" "Hey! How did you know?!" Tatsumi smiled, a twinkle in his eyes at Tsuzuki's indignant surprise. " I think we should investigate, don't you?" Tsuzuki didn't need to be asked twice. ******* Tsuzuki almost wished Tatsumi wasn't there. A wail of sirens caught his attention, and he realised Tatsumi was watching him. "It's wrong," Tsuzuki said. "It all feels wrong." "Does it ever feel right?" Tatsumi's fingers squeezed snug on Tsuzuki's shoulder. "It's a cycle. A progression. The order of things." "But..." Yes, he wanted to say, yes, sometimes it does feel right, horrible beyond belief but right. But this... There was no point. Tatsumi would never understand, why should he? Tsuzuki gave him a smile and stretched, rolled his shoulders, quietly dislodging Tatsumi's hand. "Just jitters. Let's go." Tatsumi nodded. They paused outside the address they'd identified. Tsuzuki felt it straight away. Thicker than thunder, darker than a raven's wing. "Surge. Can you feel it?" he whispered. Tatsumi answered "yes," barely more than a breath. His face was tight and drawn; there was a flicker of something dark around his feet. "Tatsumi?" "Through there." Tatsumi pointed to a door at the end of the hallway. A sliver of light glowed around the frame; Tsuzuki could make out a sound at the very edge of his hearing. Chanting? "Perhaps we should come back. Wait until the surge has passed?" Tatsumi looked conflicted, maybe even confused, though his voice was steady enough. "Only one of those girls is meant to be dead. We can't take chances." They moved silently across the tiled hallway, Tsuzuki trying to fight the sudden whorl of concern at Tatsumi's expression. He vividly recalled Watari's words in the brief moments before they left. Watari had pressed a bottle of sake into his hand, for some reason, and said: "take care of each other." Now he came to think on it, it seemed a very odd thing to say. The chanting was louder now, a single male voice interlaced with and a lilting melody in feminine counterpoint. Beautiful in its way. Tsuzuki's hand closed on the door handle, tried it. It was locked. He and Tatsumi shouldered it open together. At the far side of the room was a robed figure, and in the middle seven girls, a hand-linked circle with a single figure in the centre, staring up at the ceiling, mouth agape, arms outstretched. None of them seemed to notice the intrusion. "Kaiya," Tsuzuki whispered. "Of course!" Tatsumi replied. "The surge! It's not spontaneous at all, they're summoning it. This is how it works, they get a conduit - probably someone on the very cusp of death - and use them as a vessel. This evil isn't raining on the earth. It's being invited." Tsuzuki stared with growing disgust at the scene being played out before them. "You make sure the girls get out of here safely," hissed Tatsumi. "I'll put a stop to this." But before Tsuzuki had a chance to move there was a rush of power so strong that it felt like a kick in the chest. Darkness, thick and oily-black poured through the ceiling, into Kaiya's mouth and radiated out to strike the circle around her. Girls crumpled like wilting flowers, and then Tsuzuki noticed the pentagram on the floor. It was pulsing with life, power shooting across its axes. He turned to Tatsumi, saying "they're summoning a-" but got no further. Tatsumi crashed to his knees at Tsuzuki's feet with a gut-wrenching sob, hands clasped over his ears. "Tatsumi!" "Tsuzuki, I..." "No! What's wrong?" Tsuzuki knelt beside him, felt for pulse and breath, found them, faint, too faint.... Bright blue eyes looked up at him, full of... fear? "I'm sorry.... I didn't want... to leave you... again...." To Tsuzuki's horror Tatsumi's eyes slid shut and his body fell deathly still in Tsuzuki's arms. And then the shadows came. ******* The darkness filled the room so thickly that Tsuzuki couldn't see. He cradled Tatsumi's body close, and forced himself to think. Silent tears coursed down his cheeks to fall in Tatsumi's hair. He choked back a sob; dammit, he had to think. The shadows wouldn't hurt him; this he knew somewhere deep inside, a fact. He couldn't work out what they might do, though; everything was a swirling mass of black and he couldn't fucking see. What were the shadows doing, just hanging there? Something was happening; he could hear a voice, a male voice, the cultist. Chanting, but the chant had changed. The shadows shifted around him. Agitated. He made out a name, somewhere in the rhythm of the chant. Yaikimeki. He'd heard that somewhere before.... Yaikimeki. A shikigami? Tsuzuki lay Tatsumi gently on the floor and dragged himself to his feet. The air was thick with power and the familiar brush of Tatsumi's shadows entwined with something else, something cold and slow as treacle, slick shiny black and evil, writhing, twisting, dark. "Don't die," Tsuzuki whispered as he let go of Tatsumi's hand. "Just... don't die. I'll be back." He plunged into the darkness. It didn't feel like the surges usually did; he felt a sickening sense of evil, the wicked plans of men, but that wasn't what the darkness was. He wondered if it was because he was so close, like being in the eye of a storm. His hand brushed skin; bare, soft skin. "Kaiya?" A little cry, and then a small hand clutched his wrist. "Are you.... Yaikimeki?" "No. My name's Tsuzuki. I'm here to help... to stop this." "You can't." She sounded frail, so scared. "It's too late." The chanting stopped. "It's coming," she said. Tsuzuki felt the shadows looming behind him, power swelling, just waiting for a command to be unleashed. But Tatsumi was unconscious; the command wouldn't come. He thought he saw a flicker, a glimmer of something shining through the dark. A rustle of scales. "Behold!" A voice rang out, brighter, fuller than a human voice should be. " Yaikimeki!" There was swirling and confusion, something that smelt a bit like smoke and then, at last, the blackness began to clear. Twining its way around a whimpering Kaiya was a snake, huge, a wingless dragon with eyes of red and scales blacker than pitch, blacker than ebony, blacker than shadows. "Leave her alone." The snake turned on Tsuzuki and hissed, long tongue flicking out so close he could almost feel it cold and deadly on his skin. It rumbled, the noise coming from deep in its belly as it twisted around to peer beyond Tsuzuki's stone-still form towards Tatsumi. "Shadow Master?" Tsuzuki swiftly put himself between the Yaikimeki and Tatsumi's still body. "Leave him alone. If you want to fight, fight me." Yaikimeki slithered through the greasy air, leaving Kaiya to fall sobbing to the floor behind him. The cultist looked on in awe, surprised, perhaps, at just what he had conjured. "Fight?" A tail flicked out and insinuated between Tsuzuki's legs, set to wrap around an ankle. Tsuzuki neatly dodged, rendering a savage kick in the process, but Yaikimeki was undeterred. "I wish no violence upon the Shadow Master. I merely wish to eat him. To take his power for my own. To take control of these, his deadly allies and give them a Master worthy of their power." "You want to... what?!" "Of course," the cultist snapped out of his stupor, hurrying across the room to join them. "You must be hungry, Lord Yaikimeki, see we have prepared sacrifices, many, many sacrifices, and the whole world awaits your humble appetites!" The world? They were going to give this thing the whole world to feed upon? There was power there enough to do it. Tsuzuki could sense it. Something more than an ordinary shikigami - if there was such a thing - this was something more, evil, cruel, destructive... If it wanted to, it could, he had no doubt, eat the world. "The Shadow Master will suffice." The red eyes hadn't slipped from Tsuzuki and Tatsumi all this time; now they positively glowed with greed. "Give me him, shinigami, and I will spare the world." Tsuzuki's heart all but stopped. The forked tongue darted out to kiss the skin at Tsuzuki's throat. "We'll do a deal, you and I. Give me the Shadow Master now and I'll withdraw. You fear me, don't you, shikigami? You fear the war and death on which I feast. Oh yes. I remember you," Tsuzuki's eyes went wide. Seventy thousand lives, gone in an instant... "That was.... you?" A shuffle of scales took the place of a laugh. "Not just me. The hearts of men make death so easy, don't you think? They welcome me, beg me to cleanse their putrid little world. It's growing now, the hatred, delicious, deadly bigotry. So what's it to be, death-bringer? Your Shadow Master, or the world? Choose." Tatsumi or another war? All those lives, or more...? In a single shudder that shocked him to the core, Tsuzuki knew what his answer would be. For this man, this gentle, careful man who'd broken his heart and kept him at a distance all these years, who'd protected him and nurtured him, given him everything. Except the one thing he'd really wanted, but Tsuzuki could forgive him that, had forgiven him a hundred times over. For this man, Tsuzuki would sacrifice the world. Fortunately, it was a choice he didn't have to make. He clutched a fuda between steepled fingers and began to chant. "I humbly call upon the twelve gods who protect me, come forth and cleanse the world of this evil presence!" Suzaku burst from nowhere in an orgy of flame; the snake spiralled upwards and shattered the ceiling, plaster and rubble raining down on the room below. Tsuzuki swept Kaiya away; grabbed another girl clear of falling masonry and flung them both towards the wall. "Get the others! Stick to the sides of the room and make your way to the door!" He reached his mind out to the shadows, felt them fluttering behind him, fluttering, uncertain, while the battle raged on overhead. ~Protect him,~ Tsuzuki commanded, not expecting them to answer to him. But it was all he could do. ~Protect your master.~ He caught a glimpse of movement; Tatsumi was awake. Too weak to move, but staring at Tsuzuki with a sort of admiring disbelief as the shadows wrapped themselves around him like armour. Tsuzuki spared a smile before he plunged across the room to join the battle. ******* "Tatsumi? Quick, Watari, I think he's coming round!" Tsuzuki's voice, and in the background a soft female sobbing that sent shivers down Tatsumi's spine. "Tsuzuki? Are you alright? What happened? I blacked out again, I think, after...." He tried to raise his head but the world span and his brain exploded in sharp points of pain. "Don't try to move yet. It's all over." Tatsumi's eyes flickered open to meet a familiar purple gaze. "You're sure you're alright?" "I'm fine, but, for a moment there I thought..." Tears swelled in those beautiful eyes for a moment, then Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around Tatsumi in a fierce hug, pressed his face firmly into Tatsumi's neck. "I thought I'd lost you, oh, Tatsumi, I..." "Shhh, Tsuzuki," mumbled a shocked Tatsumi, gently patting Tsuzuki's back. "Not in front of the girls!" Tsuzuki withdrew with a sheepish grin, but the kiss he left behind on his neck warmed Tatsumi's belly like fire. "Sorry. I just..." 003 fluttered to rest on Tsuzuki's shoulder, and peered critically at Tatsumi. "He's pale," she pronounced. "But he appears to be breathing." A gentle hand pulled Tsuzuki back a little, and Watari's hair spilled over Tatsumi's chest. "How do you feel?" Watari's fingers closed, reassuring around his wrist. "Fine. A little nauseous. What happened?" "Tsuzuki saved the day," Watari said. "It was Suzaku really," Tsuzuki said. "I just hung around and summoned. You know how it is." "He also saved your life," Watari added. "And he commanded the shadows." "They did it all themselves. Really." Embarrassed, Tsuzuki left Watari to it and busied himself tending the girls. Watari gave Tatsumi a meaningful look. "Really?" Tatsumi whispered. Watari nodded. Tatsumi blinked. One thing was certain about Tsuzuki. He was full of surprises. "How did you get here?" he asked Watari. "I've been monitoring the surges just in case you got into trouble. I was concerned after what happened this morning. It turns out I was right to be. Hisoka and Tsuzuki were picking up on the suffering the ritual was causing, especially to the sacrifices. But you were susceptible to the power of Yaikimeki himself. It commanded shadows itself, of a sort." "You mean we were the same?" "Hardly. But you command a similar energy. Or did. Tsuzuki was thorough. I don't think Yaikimeki will be commanding anything in this dimension for a very long time." "He saved me." Watari caught Tatsumi's gaze and nodded. "Yes." Tatsumi could barely absorb what had happened. Watari helped him up and they watched as Tsuzuki spoke to each of the girls, kind as ever, and sent them home, or the nearest they had to one. Tatsumi knew that somehow, how ever much Tsuzuki was commanded not to interfere, they'd each acquired a sort of guardian angel. Konoe could forbid it all he liked, but Tsuzuki would find a way to make sure those girls didn't spend another night on the streets of Nagasaki in a world of drugs and danger. And then there was just Kaiya. She was fading already; dark circles round her eyes, skin stretched gaunt across her cheekbones, limbs weak and trembling fiercely as whatever the cult had given her to keep her alive wore off. "You know, don't you?" Tatsumi said, as gently as he could. "I'm going to die," she said flatly. "They said... they said I'd live forever, that Yaikimeki would make sure I didn't die." "You're already dead. You took an overdose. If they hadn't interfered-" "They said they'd found me just in time, that it didn't have to end like that..." She looked up at him with pleading, tear-filled eyes. "I didn't know, I..." "Would you really want that? To live as a slave to something evil? Would you really?" "No. I didn't want this life at all," she whispered. "I didn't want-" She started to cry, and Tatsumi's heart clenched in pain. He was lost for words, panic crawling over him, blood roaring in his ears. But Tsuzuki took her in his arms and held her tight. "It's all right, Kaiya," he breathed into her hair, his voice choked up with pain. "It's over." And with Tsuzuki's strength to guide her, she surrendered to her fate. ******* "Thank you, Tsuzuki." Tatsumi pushed open the door of his apartment, and trod wearily inside. "Can I offer you anything? Tea? Sake?" Tsuzuki hesitated. "I ought to get back." "Of course. Thank you again. I'll see you tomorrow, at the meeting." But still Tsuzuki stood there in the doorway, for some reason. Tatsumi took a deep breath. He felt as though his neatly ordered world had suddenly collapsed; he didn't understand what he was supposed to do. All he knew was that something, somewhere had changed, and nothing worked the way it used to any more. "Tsuzuki?" "Um. Right, yes. I, just, um... that sake, that Watari gave us, we never got to drink it, and..." "Keep it. It's the least I can do." "Oh. Okay." And still, he stood there. "But if you wanted to come in and..." "Thanks! Yes, if that's okay, it might be good to... you know. Talk." Tatsumi stepped aside and ushered Tsuzuki into his apartment. "What is it you'd like to talk about?" Tatsumi indicated the sofa and Tsuzuki obediently sat down. Big purple eyes gazed up at him, so helpless that a person would never imagine how powerful Tsuzuki had been just a few short hours ago. "I realised something today," Tsuzuki said, his voice a lot steadier than Tatsumi had expected from his expression. "What was that?" Tatsumi's heart pounded in his chest. "I need to know why." "Why what?" Tsuzuki clasped a cushion to his chest like armour. "Why you... oh!" Tatsumi followed Tsuzuki's gaze to the corner of the sofa where the cushion had been lying. There was something there, vivid against the clean cream fabric. Watari's tie. Unmistakable, if for no other reason than its pattern consisted of a multitude of tiny penguins. "He must have left it here last night," Tatsumi thought out loud. "What? Why was he... Oh! I... oh. I'm sorry." Tsuzuki blushed. "None of my business, forgive me Tatsumi, I..." A sudden thought occurred to Tatsumi. A way out. His throat was dry, tight. "It's not a secret. From time to time Watari spends the night here. Last night was one of those occasions." There. Now Tsuzuki would think him taken, and wouldn't have to feel sorry for him any more, and if Tatsumi felt a pang of guilt for using Yutaka's sweet affection that way he was careful not to let it show on his face. He let out a deep breath. "So, what did you want to ask me?" But Tsuzuki was just kneeling there, turning the tie over and over through anxious fingers. He didn't look relieved at all. He looked... hurt. "Tsuzuki?" Tsuzuki shook himself, and a forced smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry. Let me get you a drink. Something for the shock. Yes. Alcohol, that's the thing..." and before Tatsumi could protest he'd gone. There was a clinking of glasses from the kitchen. Tatsumi leaned back and closed his eyes, willing his heartbeat to slow, his breathing to calm. This was pointless. His feeble mind was in a state, that was all. Of course Tsuzuki would feel relieved, when he got to think about it. Unless perhaps he wanted Watari for himself... Perhaps that was it! If so he'd surely get over it. Or perhaps Watari might even want... And if not, if it was just the shock, there was Hisoka. Hisoka was good for Tsuzuki. Tatsumi clung to that thought like a life raft, and finally began to regain control. "Here." Tsuzuki pressed a glass of rich brown liquid into his faintly trembling hand. "Brandy. They say it's good for shock." "Thanks." Tatsumi accepted it gratefully. "It's good for most things, actually." Tsuzuki downed a mouthful from his own glass and gave Tatsumi a wry grin. On any other day Tatsumi would have chided him, but what with one thing and another he found he simply didn't have the will. "Yes," he said, instead. "It can be very comforting." Tsuzuki smiled at him. "I'm so sorry," Tatsumi said. "That I let you down so badly today." "I thought I'd lose you." Purple eyes searched his, searching, worried, and Tatsumi took another gulp of brandy just to escape them. "I owe you my life. I can't truly express my-" "How long have you been seeing Watari?" Tatsumi blinked. "I beg your pardon?" "How long have you been, um, together? Only it's odd, because he's my friend, I thought we were close, and he never mentioned it, at all." Tatsumi swallowed hard. He hadn't expected this, hadn't thought, but there was hurt in Tsuzuki's eyes, and he'd put it there. Again. He couldn't add a lie to all that pain. "It's not like that. We're just friends except that sometimes we're.... intimate. He didn't tell you because I asked him not to." "Why?" "Why what?" "Why didn't you want me to know?" Tatsumi blinked. "I, that is, I thought... it didn't seem important. I didn't want to complicate anything or, er..." Tsuzuki slumped, deflated. "You don't trust me. You think I'm some sort of emotional moron. You didn't trust me back then and you don't trust me now. You've saved me more times than I can remember and still..." "No," Tatsumi breathed. "That's not it at all." "Then what is it? I can take it, Tatsumi. I may not like it, but I need to hear it. I need to understand." "Then, I..." Tatsumi began, a calming lie all ready on his lips. But the lie was never uttered, never came to truth because he looked into Tsuzuki's eyes and saw the hurt there. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I left you because I have feelings for you, deep feelings, and I didn't want to burden you. I never want to burden you. I want to care for you, protect you, look after you." "You love me." Tsuzuki stared at him, eyes wide with dawning realisation. "Yes." Tatsumi burned with shame. "Now you know." "And Watari?" "Truly, just a friend." "But-" "It was cruel not to give a reason. But I didn't want to lie, couldn't. The one thing I never, ever want to do is hurt you, Tsuzuki." Tsuzuki flinched. "You... that makes no sense. What happened then..." "I was wrong. I should never have taken advantage of you. You were vulnerable..." "You didn't take advantage. I was willing. More than willing." "Afterwards, you had regrets. I know you did. It was plain. I promised myself a long time ago, Tsuzuki, I never want to make you cry. And that night, I made you cry. I can't take the risk of anything like that ever happening again. And now you have Hisoka..." Tsuzuki just stared at him. "I'm sorry," said Tatsumi. "Now at least you understand. I hope that helps, in some small measure." "You got it all wrong," Tsuzuki whispered. "I got it all wrong. Hisoka's the best partner I'll ever have, he's been a friend, a brother, but that's nothing to do with how I... you're different, and... All these years I thought you didn't care, didn't want me that way and... and... Tatsumi, I wasn't crying because of you. It was those lives, the evil way they were taken, not you... if it hadn't been for you, if I'd woken up alone that night..." Tatsumi dared not even breathe. "I love you," said Tsuzuki. "I loved you then and I never stopped." At first Tatsumi didn't believe him. Surely it was a lie, an awful, dreadful lie. But he couldn't look into Tsuzuki's eyes and believe that. It was written there in letters ten feet tall, maybe always had been, only he had been too blind, too scared... Tatsumi tugged Tsuzuki close and kissed him, hard, fingers tangling in his hair, breathing in his scent, the oaky taste of brandy in his mouth and Tsuzuki's heart beating hard and fast against his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered, lips brushing the soft skin of Tsuzuki's neck. "I tried to do the right thing, I thought, and now... I don't even know what's right any more. Please forgive me, Tsuzuki. Please." Tsuzuki's fingers fisted tight in the cotton of Tatsumi's shirt. "Never mind what's right for once. This feels good. Will good do, for now, do you think? Tatsumi?" The last of Tatsumi's resistance fell away and his mouth found Tsuzuki's again, warmth coiling in his belly as he let himself believe this could be real. A kind of frenzy overtook them, and before they knew it they were tumbled to the floor, Tsuzuki's kisses hard and needy, hands fumbling with buttons and zips, and Tatsumi was possessed of a violent urge to take him right there on the soft cream carpet, on hands and knees like rutting animals... "Now," Tsuzuki panted. "Quick, before you change your mind, now..." Tatsumi looked down at Tsuzuki's pink-flushed face, huge purple eyes dark with need. Before you change your mind. "No," he said. "Not this time." He peppered soothing kisses over Tsuzuki's pretty face. "Come to bed with me, Asato. Let me make love to you properly. Not like this." He backed away and got to his feet, held out his hand to help Tsuzuki up. Confusion faded from Tsuzuki's eyes, a soft smile blooming on his face instead. "Yes," he whispered. "I'd like that, if you're sure-" Tatsumi matched his smile with one just as soft and wide. "Oh yes," he said. "I'm sure." ******* Tatsumi lay Tsuzuki on the bed, and worshipped him. He peeled the clothes oh-so-carefully from his lean, pale body, kissing every inch of skin he revealed. He licked his way from throat to belly, teased pink nipples with his teeth and tongue, drank Tsuzuki's breath in long, deep kisses, gentle, tender, like a dream. "It's alright," Tsuzuki whispered. "I won't break." But he looked so very much as though he might. "I want this to be good," Tatsumi said. "It is good, very, but it's like... it isn't real and I want it to be... real." Tatsumi brushed his cheek along the length of Tsuzuki's cock, so smooth and elegant, hard and warm, alive. He swiped the head with his tongue and swallowed it down before Tsuzuki could say another word. Real. He let the thought sink in, eyes tight shut as he absorbed the scent and taste and feel of Tsuzuki's swollen flesh in his mouth and throat. He'd imagined this, remembered this for so long and now... Real. Tsuzuki arched like a bow, mouth open, eyelids fluttering in a surprised sort of bliss. Tatsumi drew back a little, curled his fingers around the root of Tsuzuki's cock and began to suck. He moved his head, slow and steady, wet lips clamped tight around the shaft, fingers insinuating carefully below. Tsuzuki bucked his hips, head thrown back, and as Tatsumi slipped one spit-slick finger inside of him, he came. Tatsumi drank him down, reluctant to release him from his mouth even when the final spurts were done. Tsuzuki's cock had barely softened, and strong fingers twitched still, clutching at his hair. "Fuck me," Tsuzuki whimpered. "Please, please fuck me..." Tatsumi took his mouth away, leaving a few soft kisses around the head of Tsuzuki's cock. "We can wait. Give you time to recover." "I'm recovered," Tsuzuki said, a wicked smirk on his lips. "See?" His cock twitched in Tatsumi's hand. Tatsumi could only smile back. "Alright. Just let me... wait a minute while I..." Tatsumi stumbled through the fog of need in his brain to deal with practicalities, like lube. Proper lube. Not oil this time. Tsuzuki dressing. For the first time since that night, Tatsumi could think of that and smile. Tsuzuki waited, flushed and panting, and Tatsumi knelt between his thighs, shaking so much that Tsuzuki noticed, lifted a hand and stroked Tatsumi's hair back from his face, tucking wayward strands behind his ears. Tsuzuki didn't say anything. Just smiled, and bit his lip as Tatsumi slid inside, long legs wrapping around Tatsumi's waist, heels pressing into the small of his back to draw him deeper. Buried deep inside Tsuzuki's body, Tatsumi paused and took a long, hungry look into Tsuzuki's eyes. There was no doubt. This was real. He softly touched Tsuzuki's face. Tsuzuki nuzzled into his hand, held it there with his own. Tatsumi took Tsuzuki slowly, with long, deep strokes, finding the rhythm that made Tsuzuki arch and writhe beneath him, fingers twisting in his hair. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Tsuzuki's, not for an instant, and seemed to feel the same. Even when Tsuzuki came, splashing sticky-wet between them before Tatsumi even got to touch him, his eyes stayed open, every stab of emotion written bare across his face, and Tatsumi was powerless. He lost himself in those purple eyes, drowning, helpless, gone except that Tsuzuki's arms were holding him, Tsuzuki's breath was soft against his skin; Tsuzuki's voice soothed and strengthened him, and when his own crisis came Tsuzuki drew him deep inside, as deep as he could go, and hot tears splashed down on Tsuzuki's face, Tatsumi let himself surrender. Things went blank for a little while; not unconscious-blank, he knew that he was moving, speaking, breathing but he couldn't think, didn't even want to. He snagged a towel from the foot of the bed and wiped Tsuzuki's skin, then lay back, exhausted on the mattress and tugged his lover safe into his arms. Eventually his heartbeat slowed, the world came back, and Tatsumi was almost surprised to find that Tsuzuki was still there. Tucked into his side, head resting on his shoulder, his hair tickling the crook of Tatsumi's neck. Tatsumi's heart ached. "Asato..." "Mmm?" Tsuzuki lifted his head lazily, and smiled. "All this time..." The smile faded; sadness tinged the heady purple gaze. "Yes. All this time." "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I... I had no idea." "When I found you gone I thought you simply didn't care the same way I did, that you were just trying to comfort me. I understood that. I'm not an easy person, after all." "I was a coward. A hopeless, stupid coward." "A coward would have stayed. You did what you thought was right." An unasked question lurked between them. Tatsumi pulled Tsuzuki closer, and gently stroked his hair. "I'm not leaving," he whispered. "Not this time. Not ever. Not again. Unless..." The smile that lit up Tsuzuki's eyes was brighter than sunshine. "You're sure? You really want... this, to continue?" Tatsumi nodded. "Will you have me?" Tsuzuki hugged him, so tight he could barely breathe. "Always," Tsuzuki whispered. "Always." ~owari~
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